Reflecting On My Peri Journey

It’s a little surprising to think about how long I’ve actually been experiencing perimenopause. Thanks to my penchant for blogging, I can easily look back and reflect. Here’s an overview of what I’ve learned so far.

In July 2020, I posted the first article in my blog. I loved the idea of using it to chronicle and encapsulate the different aspects of my life.

At the time, so many things were happening and honestly, I didn’t want to forget those big experiences. My memory is for the birds. The open-format journal is a space where I can thoughtfully share what I’m experiencing, for better or worse. At the same time, I hone my creative writing skills to capture what might otherwise soon be forgotten.

Recounting those thoughts and feelings during significant events has certainly helped to inform later decisions in my life. In the blog format, those entries can be helpful or inspiring to others. If I can contribute something good to another person’s life experience, it’s a win all around.

Chronicling perimenopause

A year after starting the blog, at 49, I was not feeling well. I decided to use the blog to track the things I’d been feeling in Age is Just a Number. I was suffering random bouts of nausea, dizziness, body aches, low energy, and brain fog. Often, it was not a pleasant existence.

I went to my array of annual doctor checkups. I saw my nutritionist once a week. She had warned me for years about the looming drop in hormones and its association with insulin resistance. Inevitably, that would lead to weight gain. That was another creeping symptom I was dealing with. Awesome.

For two years, these symptoms would continue. I saw my gynecologist once a year, who shrugged and confirmed that I was probably heading towards menopause. I didn’t know what that meant for me, and she wasn’t really forthcoming with any details. That left me with the doomed feeling that I would continue not feeling like myself. Oh well.

Defining my Peri experience

After battling a little mental resistance, I finally started to embrace the idea that I was in perimenopause. Prior to that, I was only cursorily aware of the phrase “hormone imbalance.” I didn’t know what it meant or how it really affected me.

I decided that it was time to fully embrace this time of life and dive into learning more about it. My mother’s experience was very different than mine. I remembered that she had a full hysterectomy. I knew she was on HRT for a very short time. But, we didn’t have any meaningful discussions about it. At the time, I was too young to be aware that I needed to know anything. By the time I realized there were questions I had for her, she was not here anymore.

For the most part, I was on my own to define my own peri experience.

Journaling

Writing down the experience as things unfolded would be a crucial part of understanding these changes. I knew that I wouldn’t remember everything over time. There was too much information to process. I also knew I was one in a sea of millions of women in the dark. Certainly sharing the story could help me connect with more community.

July 2023 was two years after I started noticing my symptoms. I was 51 at that time and there was no question or confusion: peri was in full effect. In addition to my initial symptoms, I started experiencing the following:

• The night sweats came in force waking up with a damp shirt.
• I felt mentally shaken, prone to random and confusing bursts of emotion. Tears would flow for “no reason.”
• My cycles were still coming every month, but predicting day 1 was impossible, despite my meticulous tracking. Every month was maddeningly different, ranging from 21 to 32 days.
• I’d drop and knock things over absentmindedly. Often.
• The brain fog was like a gray cloud around my head. All the time.
• My weight fluctuated and I’d have bad constipation, despite ample hydration and good dietary habits.
• My memory recall sucked. I couldn’t remember basic words in conversations.

I was a mess and didn’t know how to help myself. All I could do was breathe and write. Not for the Faint of Heart detailed my experience at the time. To make it worse, my sleep cycle was becoming a major problem.

Losing sleep

While historically, I’m an excellent sleeper, I was experiencing trouble falling asleep and getting back to sleep. This increasing lack of sleep made make everything worse. More tired meant more anxiety and rumination. More rumination kept me awake at night. My life felt more stressful, more worrisome, and less-clear-headed.

In December 2023, I wrote Mid-life Musings: Insomnia and Brain Fog. In short, I was often a walking zombie. From that point forward, I was committed to figuring out how to make my life experience better again.

Clearing the fog

Gymnastics

Gymnastics made me feel that, despite aging and all the chaotic symptoms, I was actually okay. I was often able to manage my uneasiness through movement. The feeling of accomplishment in that community lifted my spirits and eased my physical symptoms.

Through all of the symptoms, my gym habits were a non-negotiable. It kept me mentally and physically strong. It was a steady reminder of who I was and what I was capable of doing. It kept me sane. But my daily experience was increasingly less comfortable.

Nutrition

I started by looking more carefully at nutrition. How could I eat better to help support what my body needed? During that search, I wrote a few related posts:

• Weight-loss 12: Tricky 2023 (December 2023). This spearheaded the research process. This looked at the efforts I was already making.
• Phytoestrogens and (peri)menopause (January 2024). Knowing that estrogen played the main role in women’s health, I wondered if and how nutrition could assist.
• Improving My Cholesterol in Perimenopause (August 2024). As middle-age crept up, so did my cholesterol. I learned that you absolutely can improve your cholesterol through diet and exercise. Even in perimenopause.
• Building Muscle Mass in Perimenopause (December 2024). This combined focus on protein intake and resistance training. As I understood this better, my gym performance improved.
• Weight Loss 13: Combatting Perimenopausal Weight Gain (December 2024). This looked at all of the strategies I was employing to maximize my body’s output and keep my weight in check.

Leaning on the Menoposse

What really clarified things for me was the emerging voices of menopause specialists on social media platforms. These women were all specialists in their own medical fields with decades of experience. Together, they looked at the body of research and started making things make more sense. Their advocacy opened my eyes so that I could look at more of the research myself.

I chronicled that awakening in Empowering GenX Women: Navigating Perimenopause with Expert Guidance in June 2024. That was when I realized that hormone replacement therapy was an important tool in my personal toolkit.

I read two important books that changed the course of this act of my life.

After reading both of those books, the quality of my life experience improved dramatically. I learned how to better advocate for myself and make the best choices to support my well-being. I highly recommend these resources for anyone going into this phase of life.

Embracing HRT

I was inspired to write the Estrogen Matters to Your Mind post in November 2024, sharing what I had learned.

Estrogen, when started early, is protective of all of our organ systems: brain, heart, skeletal, etc. Going without it sends us down a slow, destructive path affecting every aspect of our existence. Decades of estrogen depletion can have tragic ramifications. By the time the life-threatening problems happen, it is too late to reverse course.

At my gynecologist appointment in June 2024, she did prescribe the transdermal estrogen I was looking for. However, she did not prescribe progesterone. Her take: since I was still getting my cycles, I was still making progesterone. I didn’t need to supplement. On the surface, it made sense.

But, given all the research I was doing, something didn’t sit well with me.

I had learned that when you take estrogen, it was really important to balance it with progesterone. Why? Too much estrogen can thicken the uterine lining, which can lead to endometrial hyperplasia (abnormal thickening of the uterine lining). This could lead to endometrial cancer if unchecked. The progesterone supplement, taken in the second half of the cycle, helps prevent endometrial hyperplasia.

If my memory serves, my mom had her hysterectomy because of endometriosis (endometrial tissue growing outside of the uterus). I didn’t know if there was a connection, but I didn’t want to find out the hard way.

Online resources

Through Dr. Haver’s book, I learned more about different online women’s health resources.

There are several available, and I decided to consult with Alloy Health. They are staffed with board certified ob-gyns who specialize in menopausal health. I did their online consultation. Not only did they offer to take over the transdermal estradiol prescription, they also added on the progesterone. It would cost the same as my original prescription alone. It would be delivered to me in the mail. I would also have responsive and unlimited messaging access for any questions or issues.

To me, it was a no-brainer.

All in all, this service has been wonderful. I also decided to try the M4 estradiol face cream (why not?). So far, I’m happy with the results.

One year into my peri awakening

Now, in May 2025, I am almost a year into this new phase of understanding the menopause transition. I remember how confused and full of dread I was a year ago. I didn’t see any way through my ill feelings. Thinking that a poor quality of life would be my “normal” moving forward sucked the life out of me.

The truth is that your quality of life is the sum total of your actions in your environment. Simply taking HRT is not the only solution; it’s a piece of the puzzle. But missing that piece was preventing me from fully flourishing.

Since my first peri post, my quality of life has immeasurably improved:

• I don’t experience night sweats anymore. Most of the time, my temperature regulation is just fine.
• My sleep hygiene is much better. Insomnia is not a problem anymore. I’ll head up to bed around 9:30 p.m. and take my time getting ready for sleep.
• My energy is back to normal. I often crash after dinner, but I can maintain a full day after waking up at 5:15 a.m.
• The nausea and dizziness have thankfully disappeared.
• Generally, I’m less anxious and more calm. My emotions are not all over the place all of the time.
• The brain fog has thankfully lifted.
• While I still have body aches and pains, they have diminished greatly. I work out 3 days a week and my job keeps me moving all day long. Of course I’m going to feel my joints talking back to me. At least I know why they’re happening.

I still struggle for words and knock things over once in a while. I can accept that with some humor now. I’m still working on weight maintenance, but who isn’t, especially at my age? I work full time as a high school dance teacher. I’m a 53-year-old gymnast who trains and coaches three times a week. I’m putting a lot of effort into my life and I recognize that sometimes, I need to stop and rest. I’m okay with all of that.

---

In comparison with one year ago, I’d say I’m thriving now. I took back command over the quality of my life. If I had any advice for someone entering this challenging time, it would be this:

• Seek answers to your questions. Read. Listen to podcasts. There’s a lot of information out there to be learned. Look up Dr. Mary Claire Haver (The ‘Pause Life), Dr. Vonda Wright, Dr. Kelly Casperson, Dr. Corinne Menn, and any doctor in the Menoposse. They are the leading voices in medical science who are guiding us to more resources. Find local practitioners that will listen to you. Become the guru you need to guide you through this transition.
• Make small changes that are long-lasting. Consider all the different factors that play into the sum total of your life. Create better habits that suit you in this time of your life. Maximize your nutrition, sleep and exercise routines. We have the autonomy to change something that doesn’t work for us.
• Give yourself grace. Know that you’re not crazy, inadequate or broken. You may have to deal with some degree of not feeling well, especially in the beginning. But, there are channels to help you find your way back to yourself. As you learn more, you can be wiser and more proactive in your health choices.
• Find your sources of joy. Whatever they are, you’ll need to lean on them when you don’t feel so great. Whether it’s community, books, writing, exercise, movies, or something else, seeking joy helps distract you from the difficult stuff.