It’s November again

It’s been a while since my last post. Once the boot came off from breaking my foot in August, it seems I hit the proverbial ground hobbling, then running, I was able to drive again, I started testing the foot in the gym, slowly adding some flipping back into the mix. I’ve also gotten busier at work with the fall production ramping up this month.

November is a month that I am very dual-minded about. Lots of wonderful celebrations, including our anniversary, birthdays (mine and my youngest daughter) and Thanksgiving, which gives a lovely few days of respite from the avalanche of the business of work. It is also the stress countdown to our fall show, which finds me engaging in lots of self-talk related to “this too shall pass.” As much as I love the work I do, I am also feeling the natural weight of age on my ability to expend the copious amounts of energy that my younger self once took for granted. In addition, spending the day stomping on my healing-but-not-fully-healed foot finds me feeling more creaky at the end of the day and needing an early bedtime. Feeling old much? More on that later.

This school year has felt like one of the greatest challenges to navigate since my mom died in September 2020. The pandemic is over, but the first quarter of this school year has sapped a lot of my personal energy: hobbling and scooting around for six weeks without being able to drive, working under a contract that’s been expired for more than two years, doing more with less, and teaching a student population who largely does not speak English. Any one of these things is stressful enough. Put together, it really makes you think about how much you have to give.

I think with all of that, I’ve had to set my writing effort to the side for the last month. I remember how much I craved the early mornings and after work sessions of clicking away at the keyboard, scribing whatever my brain would dump out. Nowadays, that time is either spent making sure I have my next day planned properly or sinking into the couch to watch The Mindy Project. I guess something had to give. Writing, while it is restorative in many ways, also takes lots of brain power that I need to conserve. It makes me yearn for retirement, to be honest. But that’s still a long way off three and three quarter school years to be exact.

Gratitude for the good things

So as not to belabor the desire to retire, I thought I’d recall some of the lovely things that have transpired this month. I want to follow my own advice; here’s a link to a podcast episode I published on gratitude.

At the gym

I’m thrilled to report that while the foot is not at 100%, lots of good healing has occurred. Week by week, I’ve tested it a little at a time. I still have to be careful not to push too hard, since working also stresses the foot, but I can now enjoy some flippy fun time. I also finally started coaching my Fundamentals and Mobility class once I was out of the boot. What’s great about this class it is that we slow things way down and get down to drilling the basics. We identify exactly where our weaknesses are and spend some time on building strength in those areas. So far, the people taking the class have come back week after week and enjoy paying closer attention to the basics. They are also seeing improvement each session. Yay!

You can read about the whole broken foot saga here.

At the mic

About two years ago, I was connected to Friends of Harmony Hall: Jacob Sloat House, a local historic mansion that hosts seasonal events to fundraise for their ongoing restoration. It’s a beautiful, old building in need of a lot of love, but they’ve done a great job chipping away at different sections of the house. I was first asked to sing at their Victorian Holiday event, and it rekindled my love of performing. That has now become a regular event on my calendar.

I’ll be back there in early December for their Victorian Holiday for a few sets of Christmas tunes. (Learn more about the event and purchase tickets here.) I’m even brushing off my flute to play with the Hudson Valley Wind Ensemble. It feels amazing to take some time to practice music, which brings me back to my high school days of playing in band and orchestra. It’s nice to know that I haven’t completely lost my embrochure or my memory of how the flute works. Hopefully, I’ll make more use of my newly-conditioned instrument post-retirement.

At the spa

My husband and I just celebrated our anniversary. We splurged on a much-needed spa day. We empty-nesters work so hard and collapse on the couch so often that we didn’t think twice about the expense. It was a good reminder that we should partake in this indulgence more than once a year.

The birthdays

While I’m not necessarily shouting it from the rooftops, November was when I turned 52 and my youngest became an official adult. The latter fact freaks me out, but I’m slowly getting used to it. Her first semester in college has produced another level of pseudo-independence and blossoming confidence that we are happy to witness. She wakes up on her own, goes to all of her classes, gets her work done, takes care of herself, attends lots of club activities that she enjoys, and socializes once in a while. We don’t hear much from her, which I think is a good thing, even though we are often left wondering what’s going on in her world. There’s still much maturing to do, but seeing the early stages of the process is a peek into a greater realm of possibility for her future.

As for me, the adage “age is just a number” tumbles in my head. Juxtaposing all the things I’m doing with the level of fatigue (mental and physical), it has become very important for me to maintain a balance between my level of performance (which is high) and my time in recovery. At times, when I’m feeling “old,” I have fewer qualms about going to bed at 8:30 when I really need it. My Apple watch, which I now wear to sleep, reminds me to strive for seven hours a night, and the daily reminder helps a lot. When I answer my body’s call to rest, I wake up feeling really good and ready to give the usual 100 percent of myself. Although to be honest, when I’m working, sometimes that number goes to 90; I do have to conserve more energy nowadays. Perimenopause phase aside, I’m faring quite well amongst my peers.

@staceytirro

It’s my birthday! New hashtag: #thisis52 #thegeriatricgymnast #adultgymnastics

♬ Birthday – Anne-Marie

The empty nest

I’ve written several posts anticipating our new state of being in the house, empty nest style. We know it’s temporary, since long breaks and summer vacations from college send our free birds flying back to the coop. But, we are enjoying the quiet alone time that we have craved for many years while we can. Thanksgiving break was the first time all four of us were in the house together since they left in August. It was both wonderful and strange for all of us. I’m sure most families who experience this paradigm shift feel the tugging at their heart strings in multiple directions.

For me, it is about enjoying the hugs and warmth of my daughters, alongside the yearning for quiet couple space with my husband. The sibling rivalries, though more muted now, are a reminder that being home means a bit of regression into old, sometimes less comfortable patterns. It’s also about observing my children as emerging adults against the backdrop of their childhood pictures around the house. There’s a heart-squeezy feeling when you remember where they came from and how far along their paths they have traveled since. I imagine they don’t remember much about the latter versions of themselves. But, it’s also lovely to relate to them in a more adult way. We don’t have to be as guarded in our conversations or as protective of their sensibilities. Just as the children are growing up, the parents are as well.

Looking forward

As the November leaves finish their final descent, we prepare for the bare trees and chill of December. One show will close, as another one begins. Children fly the coop, only to return again for the winter holidays. We fill our waking hours with work, some play and lots of rest as we move in and out of another holiday season. My house is filled with dust and dog hair and am only slightly motivated to do anything about it. Sitting and typing is my reward for taking a pass at de-cluttering and cleaning the never-ending tufts of fur that float around the corners.

December will be here soon and the long, cold haul to summer will begin. I’m looking forward to hunkering down and getting a little more blogging time.