It’s been a couple of weeks since my last update. I’d been putting it off until this week’s doctor’s appointment, the anticipation of which was a source of anxiety and a bit of dread.
I finally returned last week to the gym, not to flip, but to coach. It was good to breathe the air, walk on the floor, and help others to improve their technique. Of course I miss playing on the equipment myself, but whilst in the boot, sitting would have to do.
On the eve of my 6-week followup appointment…
The fear is real. I’ve been hobbling around in this boot, not driving for almost six weeks. For three weeks, I’ve been asking for rides from friends, scooting around the halls of school and finding ways to teach physical education and dance classes without being able to demonstrate what it is I want them to do. The mental challenge feels more difficult than the physical one at this point.
People ask “how are you doing” and it’s the same response: managing, doing my best, one step at a time. That’s all true, but it’s hard to go into the emotional unrest and exhaustion that accompanies the boot. Everything has to be planned ahead – there’s not much room for spontaneity. I can’t run over and quickly grab something I forgot. I have to think about leaving enough time to get to where I’m going, slowing my brain down so my body doesn’t step over something that will trip me up (literally).
I can only imagine what people with permanent disabilities have to go through to navigate this world. Thankfully, this injury will heal. Even so, the anxiety coming to this appointment has been building up for weeks; I’m fearful that I won’t be cleared to drive again and that the boot will remain in my life for a long time.
On the day of the appointment…
I worked in the morning, teaching my two dance classes our beginner ballet lessons. My students and I have gotten pretty good at our respective roles: me sitting mostly in the chair, occasionally getting up to partially demonstrate a concept, and announcing what they have to do in real time. They have learned to listen, observe, absorb, and synthesize all of the information presented in class. I have to say, I’ve been quite impressed with the whole thing. It’s been a slow build, but seeing our progress together makes me so proud. I asked them all to put in any positive vibes into the universe for good news from the doctor.
I sat for my fourth X-ray, and there was so much tension in my body. Don’t move. Make sure the image is super clear. Don’t mess this up. Once the images were processed, I looked at the screen and my heart sank.
On the surface, it looked like there was still a significant space in the break, like it had barely done any healing.
Fortunately, the doctor was much more optimistic. He explained that when you look closer at the image, you see some “fluffy” filling in the middle of the break, which means the healing is happening. The plan: ditch the boot and transition into a lower, hard shoe for week. Still no driving for the week, but he seemed to think that the healing is going in the right direction. He’s wants me to go the full 6 1/2 weeks of limited heel walking before going back to walking on the whole foot. With any luck (and good behavior), I’ll be in my other sneaker in a week.
My lovely new hard shoe. At least it matches the sneaker. Progress.
The good news
The new shoe is much lighter in weight and I have more ankle mobility as I walk. The whole walk-on-the-heel thing is still awkward and weird, but it’s better than before. It feels good to wiggle my ankle more freely.
I was able to get rid of the left shoe lift, since the new shoe is similar in height to my sneaker. I now feel a little more stable as I walk around, even if it is still a hobble.
I can now wear my orthotic insert in the new shoe, which supports my arch much better. It feels closer to “normal” when I walk now.
All of the hip strengthening exercises I’ve been doing have really helped maintain my back and hip mobility. Hopefully getting back into being on my feet will be an easy transition. It will be at least another month before I can attempt any jumping, but I’m okay with that. I understand the need to take it slow.
While I am bummed that I’m still relying on the kindness of my friends for transportation, I am encouraged by this step forward. And if I’m being honest, I’ll kind of miss zipping down the hallway on the knee scooter. It’s always a source of entertainment. And, I travel faster than I can when I’m walking my usual fast speed. Oh well.
My husband has been saying that no matter what happens, at least I am doing everything I can to promote healing, and I do believe that. So in this case, following doctor’s orders has worked so far. More updates to come!
Stacey's Headspace 
Loved it. I, too, will suck it up and.all I can to get back on my feet and on with my life. IrisSent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
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