The end of the school year is here. One kid graduated with a Masters degree. The other finished her sophomore year of college. This is one of those moments where I simultaneously look back and ahead. Here, I offer my kids six things I want them to remember as they move forward.
To my favorite women,
Life, as you know, is hard.
After many years of major adolescent mental health challenges, you have found your way to now. Someday, I’m sure I’ll write more about that, once you’ve grown into your fully adult selves. For now, we can take a collective cleansing breath that we are firmly on the other side of that chaos.
As you navigate your next steps in developing your adult life, I have a few thoughts to share with you. These bits of wisdom have helped me along my path to “adultingness.”
Stay humble. I say developing, because there is never an end to the growth process. We don’t reach a pinnacle of knowledge and go downhill from there. If anything, the more we learn, the more we have to figure out. Someone will always know something you don’t. Someone will always have a different perspective. You can be humble and also be completely fierce. The humility just endears you to others while you display your beastly talents.
Keep acquiring skills. Try new things, even if you’re not great at it. Make the mistakes that are uncomfortable so you can do better next time. Being humble about it helps your ego to stay in check. Be a Jack of many trades, master of a few. You never know when a random skill will come in handy.
Be brave. Fake it ’till you make it is one of my favorite phrases. The more you do something, the better you get at it, even if it feels like you suck at it. If you want something, and you can see yourself being happy in its pursuit, check your fear at the door and dive in. You have a brain with great capacity to learn. I wouldn’t be doing any of the things I’m doing if I let fear and self-doubt control my decisions. At some point, you develop enough command of what you are doing to look like the expert. There’s always a next time to do better.
Know your why. Whatever talents you have, whatever decisions you face, whatever you choose in the end, ask yourself one question: Why am I doing this? You won’t always know the answer right away. However, being able to focus on the question opens the door to see the answer more clearly. If your why makes you proud and feeds your soul, you’re on the right path.
Always be kind. In pursuing your version of awesomeness, you will encounter lots of people. Some will be jerks. That’s a given. You don’t have to choose the path of the asshole, even when others do. I know you know this, but sometimes it’s best to remind ourselves when they do their level best to push our buttons. There’s a reason the phrase “kill them with kindness” exists. It’s the ultimate slap in the face for people who just don’t know how to human. And there are a lot of those people in the world.
Finally, with that in mind…
Protect your peace. I love this phrase. You have but one heart and soul. You need to keep them operating at full capacity. When your life drives you batty, know how to soothe yourself so you can reset. Know your boundaries and try to always respect them.
You know that Dad and I are always here for you.
You may not need us, even when you think you do. We can be a sounding board and give you lots of opinions, suggestions and wisdom. Ultimately you have to follow your heart, your gut, and your brain. It’s your life and your decisions. We love you no matter what. It’s our life’s work and honor to be your parents.
Stacey's Headspace 
Loved it. Wonderful advice.
Iris
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