My Husband, My Hero

This post is to show my gratitude for my hero husband, who never fails to be there for our family.

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December 27, 2024

It’s day nine post-surgery to repair my ruptured Achilles tendon. It’s been a tough week and a half since the surgery. Thankfully, now that the Christmas/Hanukkah holiday blitz has passed, the pressure cooker has been released. A little bit, at least.

I wanted to take this opportunity to show gratitude for my family, who continue to get me through this challenge. My kids upped their helpfulness game, just when they were resting from their college break. My sister-in-law brought Christmas day dinner to our house so I’d be comfortable at home for the holiday. My mother-in-law took me to that crucial doctor visit to clear me for surgery (that dramatic story is here).

Superheroes don’t always wear capes

He’s always been my ride-or-die, but for this disaster, he has been there for me 1000%. He’d never ask for recognition, but I wanted to make sure I publicly acknowledge the phenomenal human that he is.

Getting the bad news

My injury happened on Sunday morning, two weeks ago. Once I processed the severity, I knew I had to call him. I dreaded making that call. I had to admit that I had hurt myself badly and it required more than an ice pack and rest. I also knew that it would mean restructuring our lives for the foreseeable future.

Of course, I heard the quiet concern in his voice immediately. His brain went into fix-it-help-it mode. He immediately picked me up and brought me to the ER with the crutches from my last injury.

I hated the idea that I would be putting him in a caretaker position for weeks and months to come. But he was the only one who I trusted to have my best interests at heart. He never judges, even when his worry brain is on full throttle.

Doing the heavy lifting

After the ER visit, the next week was a avalanche of to-do lists. Just preparing for the surgery in an impossible turn-around time and getting through the surgery itself was stressful enough. But this happened a week before Christmas and Hanukkah.

During normal times, we do our best to evenly split the hefty holiday responsibilities. Now, all of it was piled in his corner, in addition to caring for his gimpy wife.

Keeping me calm

On surgery day, he was by my side. I can only imagine what anxious thoughts were rattling around his brain as his wife was getting prepped for surgery. Up until that moment, I was all laser-focused to get it done ASAP. Once in my hospital gown, I felt a little emotionally unsteady. Then, the anesthesiologist came and gave me the run down of what to expect.

At that point, my anxiety boosted higher. Lots of poking was going to happen. I’d be put to sleep and they’d be opening me up and I’d be at my most vulnerable. I’d wake up and not be able to feel my legs. I’d have a cast on and I would have to walk out of the hospital that day on crutches. Our sense of “normal” would be changed for months to come. My courage and resolve suffered a few cracks and he saw it as I got quiet and turned inward.

Here’s the best part of having Chris by my side. Despite his penchant for anxious overthinking, he is a rock when my anxiety leaks out. Somehow, he finds a way to make me smile, soothe my soul and bring me back to baseline. He is the yin to my yang. Because he was there, I went into the surgery knowing we would all be okay. I would be able to do whatever I needed to in order to move through this ordeal.

Another best thing about him: he understands is how to balance being helpful and giving space. He knows how independent I am as a person and that doing things for myself is very important to me. He knows how hard it is for me to be vulnerable and give in to needing assistance. He will ask what I need, offer a hand and follow through if I take it. If I don’t, he’ll back up. He’ll also keep a watchful eye, just in case I bite off a little more than I can chew. Then he’ll ask again what I need.

Getting it done

When I was home recovering in the first couple of days, he was a powerhouse. He did every chore large and small to maintain the house and keep me comfortable (and out of trouble). This is a short list:

• Housekeeping: all the laundry, shopping, garbage, pet duty, dishes, vacuuming, etc.
• Gimpy wife care: getting me cold and pain medicine, setting up the humidifier for our very dry room, assisting with my extensive shower setup
• Kids: College pickup and re-assimilating them back in the house for winter break
• Christmas/Hanukkah: Organizing, planning, and executing house cleanup, setup, shopping, wrapping, baking eclairs and blueberry cobbler, menorah preparation
• Work: Throughout all of this, he still went to work. Sometimes from home, sometimes in the office, but he kept things running smoothly at work as well.

Pretty much anything and everything you can imagine that would be needed, he provided.

All of this action doesn’t come easy. Even in “normal” times, he takes on the weight of our world, and that does take a toll on him. With all of these extra demands, his battery runs very low. To boot, he doesn’t take to resting and recharging easily. It’s as if taking a moment for himself will take him away from ten other things he must do.. Sometimes, we have to nudge him to the basement to work on his latest LEGO set or watch an old movie so he can regroup.

My partner for life

From my perspective, my husband is an equal partner. We each give and take when we need. Without hesitation, he anticipates and addresses whatever needs tending to. I don’t have to ask him to do chores. Often, he does things before I even think of them. It’s just part of what he does for our lives. He’s there, body and soul, for the women and furry creatures in his life, for better and worse. All in all, he makes our lives so much better.

For 28 years of marriage, I have enjoyed the company and support of a loving, capable and supportive partner. I have never questioned or doubted his devotion. In the lottery of the universe, I hit the jackpot.

So, I humbly and publicly would like to thank you, Chris, for being my person. You are my everything, and I love you with every fiber of my being.