Stacey's Headspace

For almost four decades, I have been blessed with a partner who happens to be a good man. Notice, I did not say perfect, because perfection doesn’t actually exist. None of us are perfect. So let’s pull that silly ideal out of the equation. 

With the recent attention in the global discourse highlighting what it means to be a good man, I reflected on my own experience. I have spent my life developing the minimum requirements for choosing the people I will allow in my circle.

Since there seems to be a question nowadays about the definition of what a good man looks like, I thought I’d make it clear.

A good man:

• is patient and kind. 
• communicates his feelings and considers those of others.
• is thoughtful and observant.
• is a partner in life, through the good, bad and indifferent. 
• is both a problem solver and a listener. 
• is both playful and serious.
• stands wherever he is needed: leads when appropriate, follows when necessary, and is always by your side.
• looks out for the best interests of those he cares about, even when it’s inconvenient. 
• supports the desires and dreams of his loved ones, even if they are not his own.
• protects his loved ones, and knows when to pause and reflect on the best way to do that. 
• allows for mistakes and works to correct and improve upon them. 
• takes responsibility and is accountable for the actions they take.
• gives hugs, gives space and gives attention as the situation dictates. 
• learns, remolds, and evolves with every life experience. 

A good man will NEVER:

• intentionally make you feel bad. 
• take advantage of you when you are vulnerable. 
• speak unkind words about you or towards you. 
• disregard your thoughts and feelings. 

These are the bare minimum characteristics of what good man (person) looks like. 

Use this guide to help you navigate and choose the people with whom you associate and attach. 

If you are a man reading this, and have any issues with these basic principles, I invite you to reflect on why. Your chosen behavior should not be predicated on how people treat you or act towards others. If you are mistreated, then you should seek a different kind of person to spend your time with.

For the record, these principles apply to men and women. Be a good human. Always.