Weight -loss part 11: the ups and downs

Oh, the ups and downs of middle-age weight maintenance. Up a few pounds, down a few pounds, up a few more. The mid-life struggle is real. I think I’ve been avoiding blogging about it for six months because it’s been such a struggle. I keep hoping the upwards creep is temporary and it will re-regulate next week. Alas, that has not been the case of late.

Over the years, I’ve been told that hormones are not my friend as I get older – both by my nutritionist and my endocrinologist. They told me that as I get closer to menopause, it would be harder to lose weight, so I needed to get it done ASAP. That 165 number (as suggested by my endocrinologist) looms over my head. I haven’t seen that number on the scale in almost a year. Sigh.

I stopped tracking food about a year and a half ago. I had hit my goal and basically kept it there for about four months, so I decided to quit writing everything down and see what would happen. Then, the slow upwards creep started.

My numbers now hover in the low 170s. They peak at 174 and once in a while hit 169 if I’m lucky. Salty meals spike it almost immediately for several days. It’s predictable and annoying, but at least I know it’s coming. I have noticed the spare tire forming around my mid-section and I don’t like it. I hate the idea of tracking again – I become a little obsessed when I get that whole thing started, but it has worked in the past and it may be what I need to reset some eating habits that may have gotten away from me. 

To be fair, I don’t eat poorly. Fruits and veggies are plentiful, whole grains are my jam, I try to max out on fiber every day and I keep the red meat to a minimum. I think it’s the portions that get a little bigger when you aren’t putting it down on paper. I also like a glass of wine with dinner and some dessert afterwards. When I was tracking, I was hyper-aware of what a serving looked like, and it was usually smaller than my brain wanted to accept. But, because I was keeping track, I got used to it and my appetite adjusted (eventually). Now, not all of my portions are larger, but I’m guessing enough meals have been that it has tipped the scales in the wrong direction. Sigh. 

I am also quite active. I enjoy being an adult gymnast, walking and hiking. I need to make sure I am regular with my exercise outings to keep my muscles burning energy. And I know that the real work is about limiting my portions again. For me, that is much harder than a roundoff-back handspring.

The last day of classes at work was today, and now we are on the downhill slide to summer. Looking at the end of the school year towards two months of not working and less regular scheduling, I have to be careful. I’ll be closer to the kitchen, more able to eat out, and the possibility of blowing this whole thing apart is real. It’s also hotter, so hydration is even more important to keep up with. The whole process is just…HARD.

I don’t have any specific expectations for the summer, save for flipping at the gym; maybe I should make some to strive for. I don’t want to over-schedule, because summer for me is about decompression and coming back to myself. But a little structure can be a good thing. All I know is I need to get things back in check.